insolence

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Insolence, Part Four

Rex came before me. For how well the night was going and how seamlessly we’d fallen into a sort of dynamic, I was nervous. I couldn’t get myself to relax into what was happening enough to just let go. It happens. Sometimes I’m an absolute hair-trigger girl. Sometimes I can’t get the safety off.

“Excuse you,” I teased nonetheless when he eased the condom off of his shaft. “Finish me.”

He chuckled and sat back. “Finish yourself.” He set his hands on his knees and leaned forward. I wanted to slap the smugness from his face. He knew exactly what he was doing. “Go on. Show me what you like.”

I’ve never been able to push past the humiliation of masturbating in front of people. Mainly because my strategy is, admittedly, not particularly fascinating or engaging. But I made my best efforts, despite my reluctance to meet his stare.

“You’re boring me,” he taunted. “Keep me entertained or I’ll do something about it.”

That was enough to gall me to hold his gaze. My eyes narrowed. “Then do something about it.”

His hands crawled their way up my sides until his body loomed over mine. He reached down and took hold of my knees, shoving my legs back up in an effort to impede my access. Making a good show of it, I just wound my arm down and around under myself and resumed rubbing my clit.

“I’m flexible,” I explained.

He beamed. “Well, look at you.”

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Insolence, Part Three

Rex leaned up over me and slipped his finger into my mouth. He pulled it open and spat inside. “Swallow that,” he said.

It was hard not to grin like an idiot. I thought his whole thing was going to be a bust and this guy was more than surpassing expectations. He pushed my legs up, running his hands over the back of my thighs before letting them circle around my throat. 

“Oh, what, you like that?” He grinned and wound up, smacking me across the face again. I smiled and went to respond, but his hand found my throat. “Look at that. You do.”

Insolence, Part Two

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We pulled up to Rex’s place and I felt a lump rise in my throat. He lived in a pretty fancy apartment complex, complete with a freaking person in a little hut who offers you a parking pass. Just…bananas.

So I was all anxious because it was becoming more and more apparent to me that this person is a real adult with nice adult things and I’m, you know, me. And Pup, noticing how I’ve gotten all quiet, reached over and squeezed my thigh. “Calm down. You’re going to have a good time. Just relax.” 

To which I’m basically like:

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After taking the elevator up to his floor, I started up the hall. The thrumming of the low bass of some music grew louder as I neared his door. I had to smirk, I knew this move. And, okay, maybe he just liked loud music, but I’ve totally thrown that kind of stuff on to drown out the sex I was anticipating having. I figured knowing he was being a little presumptuous would give me the upper hand.

But when I stepped inside, I was taken aback by the fact that he first thing he said after greeting me and kissing me hello was to suggest I take off my shoes. Yeah, after the whole “wear comfortable shoes” thing that left me freaking out over footwear before arriving. It was a fucking power play.

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Which, in part, made me crazy. But also, in part, indicated to me that Rex might just be into power dynamics. Or, yeah, he could’ve just been a jerk. Either way, I was totally bamboozled.

His apartment had one of those floor-to-ceiling windows with an incredible view. For a while, was just sat around, talking about ourselves and watching the sunset. “Anyway,” he said. “What do you like? I mean, what are you into?”

I chuckled. “You mean, like, sexually?”

“Yeah,” he said. “Exactly that.”

I shook my head. “Nope. Oh no. I’m not going first. I don’t want to weird you out or set crazy expectations.” He put his arm around me and started laughing. “No, I’m dead serious. You first.”

Rex cleared his throat. “Well, all right. I guess I should start by saying, in at least most relationships, I’m dominant.”

“Well,” I responded, looking at my feet. “I’m usually a sub.”

“Bondage?” He asked, and I nodded. 

“Yeah,” I said, “that’s kind of a big thing for me.”

He reached up and slid my blazer off of my shoulders. “Ageplay?”

“Yeah,” I said. “Sometimes.”

Rex pulled my dress off of me and slipped my stockings down. He kept naming kinks, I kept affirming them. It was going well. And when he rolled on a condom and went to slide inside me, I tried to up the ante by saying, “no. Turn me over. Fuck me like a whore.” 

He slipped into me. “It’s always fucking you like a whore if it’s fucking you.”

Me: 

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Insolence, Part One

A week after the party, Pup and I were in the car headed towards Rex’s place. He lived rather close to Azure, and so it was fairly convenient for Pup to arrange an evening with her while I went to see Rex. 

I know this sounds absurd, but I was nervous that this was going to be awful. We had crazy heat-of-the-moment sex at a party, and while that involves a certain kind of chemistry, it doesn’t really guarantee that we’d have any sort of chemistry sitting down and just talking. Or, you know, having sex that wasn’t crazy porno impulse sex.

Also, I wasn’t that sure he was kinky. Which I wish I could say isn’t a total dealbreaker for me, but I’m busy. And I hate to say that I don’t want to give away time unless I’m totally into it, but, well, yeah. I have a job that’s pretty demanding and, as it stands, my free time is rather limited. So, okay, I’ve been kind of triaging people and interests. For as selfish as it feels, one of my good friends insists that this is a form of self-care.

So my worst-case scenario was I get there, we have nothing to talk about, we either have some tepid sex or just stare at each other in total discomfort. I expressed this in the car to Pup, and he replied, “you have to stop insisting that everything is going to be terrible.”

There was certainly evidence that it wouldn’t be. Rex and I had been texting a little during the week, and the tone had been pretty playful. He was clever, but kind of full of it. Not to mention I legitimately could not get even remotely one iota of a plan out of him as to what to do, so I didn’t know what to wear. (Yeah, I know, shut up.)

I’d decided on the outfit I’d literally worn the day before to work, mostly because an intern turned to me in the elevator and said, “I’m sorry if this is weird but you look incredible.” So, I took her word for it and just washed the blue dress that managed to skim my curves without looking tight or inappropriate and lint-rolled the blazer. Also, I wanted to look like I’d come right from work (it was a Friday) and hadn’t given much of a fuck. (In reality, I’d had time to go home, eat a quick dinner, walk the dog and change clothes.) But then Rex threw this curveball to wear comfortable shoes and I was thrown for a little bit of a loop. My comfortable shoes are my workout shoes. So I wore boots and figured we weren’t hiking. Or hoped we weren’t.

“Just enjoy yourself,” Pup added. “Don’t think too much about it.”