I’m not actually a huge fan of hitachis when they’re like this. I have a really sensitive clit, and as such, the strength of the vibrations that come off of a hitachi causes it to hurt rather quickly. Even on the lower setting. I really enjoy hitachis when they’ve got a tenga egg or a diffuser or some other attachment that mitigates the vibrations. But on their own, they hurt or just make me go numb. Usually, when faced with an unadapted hitachi, I’ll just inch away from the head or outright refuse.

But to that end, part of me wants to be made to endure that. I want that option of refusal taken away from me. I want to be tied down and made to take it. To be told that it isn’t about me getting off or feeling good. That it’s barely even about me at all, beyond the fact that I’m the one being made to take it.

It would go on for a while. I would probably go numb. But numbness doesn’t always diminish the pain when it takes away the sensation, from experience. It’s a different pain, this sort of quiet, crackling kind.

They’d gag me when they got tired of my pleading, my insistence that I wasn’t going to get off this way, no matter how long they went.