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Now imagine my surprise and jealousy when I text Sir saying I’m almost done with finals (done nowww)

and he texts back saying he had three girls tied up on his couch last night.

Lucky dog.

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ixnay-on-the-oddk:

🍪 you can leave cookies out for me instead this year, okay? Okay. 🍪

Brb currently covering my apartment in cookies.

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“All my life I wasn’t trying to get on the highway
I was wondering which way to go
Spending all of my damn time
Leaving all the weight behind.”

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Sir says I should stop rubbing and just get to bed already.

But I think that’s silly.

And that I have better priorities.

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“I’m yours – you know it,” F. Scott Fitzgerald, This Side of Paradise.

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Oh my God I cannot breathe.

But actually I’m kind of ready for him to get out of that hospital so they can start getting it on.