touch

Insolence, Part One

A week after the party, Pup and I were in the car headed towards Rex’s place. He lived rather close to Azure, and so it was fairly convenient for Pup to arrange an evening with her while I went to see Rex.

I know this sounds absurd, but I was nervous that this was going to be awful. We had crazy heat-of-the-moment sex at a party, and while that involves a certain kind of chemistry, it doesn’t really guarantee that we’d have any sort of chemistry sitting down and just talking. Or, you know, having sex that wasn’t crazy porno impulse sex.

Also, I wasn’t that sure he was kinky. Which I wish I could say isn’t a total dealbreaker for me, but I’m busy. And I hate to say that I don’t want to give away time unless I’m totally into it, but, well, yeah. I have a job that’s pretty demanding and, as it stands, my free time is rather limited. So, okay, I’ve been kind of triaging people and interests. For as selfish as it feels, one of my good friends insists that this is a form of self-care.

So my worst-case scenario was I get there, we have nothing to talk about, we either have some tepid sex or just stare at each other in total discomfort. I expressed this in the car to Pup, and he replied, “you have to stop insisting that everything is going to be terrible.”

There was certainly evidence that it wouldn’t be. Rex and I had been texting a little during the week, and the tone had been pretty playful. He was clever, but kind of full of it. Not to mention I legitimately could not get even remotely one iota of a plan out of him as to what to do, so I didn’t know what to wear. (Yeah, I know, shut up.)

I’d decided on the outfit I’d literally worn the day before to work, mostly because an intern turned to me in the elevator and said, “I’m sorry if this is weird but you look incredible.” So, I took her word for it and just washed the blue dress that managed to skim my curves without looking tight or inappropriate and lint-rolled the blazer. Also, I wanted to look like I’d come right from work (it was a Friday) and hadn’t given much of a fuck. (In reality, I’d had time to go home, eat a quick dinner, walk the dog and change clothes.) But then Rex threw this curveball to wear comfortable shoes and I was thrown for a little bit of a loop. My comfortable shoes are my workout shoes. So I wore boots and figured we weren’t hiking. Or hoped we weren’t.

“Just enjoy yourself,” Pup added. “Don’t think too much about it.”

“Girls are obsessed with being desirable, not desiring, as this is what society tells us to be, and it’s a real problem. It’s sad these characteristics are suppressed, so you have to break free… I want to be the girl who lunges at people, wants to eat them. It’s time for girls to take back some of the things that have been stolen.” — Héloïse Letissier.

Pup and I finally have a big enough shower that we can actually shower together without ending up elbowing each other every other second. It’s the best.

kinkycasey:

She came, like

a little beggar, at his door.

It’s been a crazy summer, tumblr.

I was able to spend some time in my old city. I had some fun. Pup and I moved in together, which has been awesome but a ton of work.

Bear with me, I promise to update you all on the stuff I got up to and finish up telling you about that little encounter Leo and I had. Hehe.

No Good Thing, Part One

I first met Leo at a play party months ago, where he’d passed me a note asking if I wanted to go somewhere private. The party was slumber party themed – so, you know, spin-the-bottle, seven minutes in heaven, really cute stuff – and so the note-passing was so on-theme that it was adorable. We ended up playing around a little, and before Pup and I headed out, we exchanged numbers and planned to go out sometime.

We kept trying to make plans to meet up, but every time we attempted to, something inconvenient and crazy would come up. I mean super inconvenient and crazy. Like, one time I had to cancel our date to go to a funeral-level inconvenient and crazy. So by the time Friday rolled around and we met up for dinner, it had been a long time coming.

Not only that, but we’d made a little bit of a plan. But more on that later.

The last time I saw Leo, he was walking around in a pair of briefs. He was covered in tattoos. I guess we did stuf fa little backwards, because when he showed up straight from work, I almost didn’t recognise him in a suit. And, yeah, knowing what was going on underneath the suit (bod-wise and tattoo-wise) was pretty hot.

After dinner, we went back to my apartment. Leo started going down on me and when I pulled him up to kiss me, he shoved his fingers into my mouth. “Tell me exactly what you want us to do tonight.”

I blushed and kissed him instead. Beside me on the bed, my phone started ringing.

On Thursday, I had a really long, trying day at work and texted the Neighbor. We were supposed to go out later that evening, but I just wanted to go home and nap forever. But he asked if I wanted to take a walk and maybe just hang out at his place, and I decided it was probably better than just hiding out.

There’s a way that people can touch you, when you allow them to, that conveys a kind of power. It was in the way the Neighbor reached over to pull my cardigan back up on my shoulder. In how, when he was sitting on his couch and I stood to get something, he reached over and pulled my skirt up to see if I was wearing underwear. In the way that, after rubbing me close to edge, he patted my thigh and told me to go into his bedroom.

He fucked me from behind until I got close again. Then, he pulled out and stroked himself with one hand, keeping the other cupped over my needy cunt. “If you want more, you’ve got to beg for it,” he said.

“No,” I pouted. “Come on, fuck me.”

He reached up from between my legs and grabbed my chin, turning my head to face him. He has these cold blue eyes that carry sternness well, the kind of grip that implies that he’s tempering himself, just holding back. “That isn’t how you ask.”

The thing is, I just always need to be made to.

My life has been so crazy and I’ve barely had time for much of anything, so sustained, out-of-the-bedroom kink has definitely fallen by the wayside. Looking at images like this makes me the most wanty.

Early in the morning yesterday, Pup taped my wrists behind my back and fucked me before we went about our respective days. (Yeah, I lead a charmed life.)

kinkycasey:

“you are not a monster for wanting more than what has been offered to you”

–e.c.s

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