So excited.
To anybody else out there today, have a ball.
pride
I’ve never been really enthusiastic about ponyplay, but the look of pride on her face and the pride in her posture really attracts me to this. She’s totally unashamed of what she likes. I’m wee bit envious.
I’ve been asked why I like Sasha Grey so much. And, to be honest, it’s not because of her porn. Sure, she’s a gorgeous woman with tremendous sex appeal, but a lot of her stuff is way too commercialized and cheesy. For all the really awesome stuff she does, there is some material that she attaches herself to that is just sort of “…come on”.
It’s more about her bravado and her attitude toward who she is and what she does. When she caught some heat for having an unshaven pussy on Entourage, she retorted that viewers could now see “what a real woman looked like”. When Tyra Banks gave her crap about her career, she defended herself maturely and eloquently. She’s amazingly unapologetic.
It’s hard for me sometimes not to feel ashamed of some of the things I like. So, yes, I admire the shit out of this woman. Also, just…come on…look at her.
You’ve made me proud, New York.
Pride has been such a hinderance for me, too. When I’ve had terms like “puppy” and “little girl” used during scenarios, my initial response was one of defensiveness, frustration, and, most importantly, fear. It’s very easy and simultaneously incredibly difficult to live in denial of a desire to be degraded and humiliated. What was probably the strongest feeling associated with terms like those and treatment like what is depicted in the picture is not a fear of discovery, but rather a fear of admitting to myself that I love being dragged down from the standard of respect that I hold myself to and expect others to hold me to, as well.
However, letting go of that has produced some of the most beautiful feelings of trust and understanding imaginable. It’s usually a slow process to get there, but once I’m there, I’m sold.
My pride so often stopped me from embracing who I am and all I share with Master. My pride stopped me from being the animal I am, from the humiliation I crave, from the obedience I desire.
I am letting go of so much pride in exchange for happiness. ~His