Distorted and Disturbed.

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I was looking at a few tumblrs I follow when I happened on something incredibly unsettling: a photograph of a friend I know. At first, I didn’t recognize her. But, I recognized her body, her hair, her clothing, the room she was in. I knew without a doubt that this was definitely one of my best friends. It wasn’t in any way a lewd picture, but rather one praising certain aspects of her body (though some of the commentary was a bit lewd). But, something felt off.

Then I realized it: her face wasn’t on the head of that picture. Or, maybe it was her face. But, her cheeks were compressed, her lips were plumped, her eyes were moved. I felt beyond uneasy looking at it. I knew I couldn’t go on and tell her that it existed, it would be far too uncomfortable. But I knew it was there and I just felt beyond awkward with it, especially with how people were reducing her to her body, discussing her.

And then I thought of how much I do this on this tumblr. I don’t often take into account the person behind the photo. Sure, I very, very rarely post “amateur” stuff, but I still felt a bit disillusioned with tumblr for a little bit. Sigh.

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I’ve been asked why I like Sasha Grey so much. And, to be honest, it’s not because of her porn. Sure, she’s a gorgeous woman with tremendous sex appeal, but a lot of her stuff is way too commercialized and cheesy. For all the really awesome stuff she does, there is some material that she attaches herself to that is just sort of “…come on”. 

It’s more about her bravado and her attitude toward who she is and what she does. When she caught some heat for having an unshaven pussy on Entourage, she retorted that viewers could now see “what a real woman looked like”. When Tyra Banks gave her crap about her career, she defended herself maturely and eloquently. She’s amazingly unapologetic. 

It’s hard for me sometimes not to feel ashamed of some of the things I like. So, yes, I admire the shit out of this woman. Also, just…come on…look at her.

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Confession: I sent a certain tumblr girlfriend of mine a photograph of myself of a certain variety. And I’m still kind of giggly over it. This may be the start of some sort of exhibitionism kick. Maybe.