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I am trying very hard to trust. Not just in terms of the D/s stuff, but in terms of the nonmonogamy stuff, too.

And you know what?

Sometimes it’s really hard. But I’m trying. And I’m proud of myself for that.

Do the words Cunt, Fucktoy, Painslut, and Cumdump appeal to you?

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Do the words Cunt, Fucktoy, Painslut, and Cumdump appeal to you?

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I’ve been learning to be flexible.

To not always know exactly what will happen, to not fear the unknown so profoundly, to not be so set in my ways of how I believe things should go.

And so I thank everyone who has been sending such sweet messages of support, advice and empathy over my triumphs and blunders in exploring my poly side. I am so appreciative to see that you all have my back.

And a special thank you to whyexactly for posting this little nugget and making me blush like crazy.

I also just noticed my queue spat out parts two and three of Easing out the Kinks in reverse. Grrrr.

kinkycasey:

BDSM Yoga Camel Pose aka Ustrasana

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Easing out the Kinks, Part Six

Followers, this whole poly thing is very new to me.

There was a lot of stuff unsaid and just a lot of stuff we couldn’t say because Penthouse’s family was hanging around. Stuff as simple as the fact that I was wearing the clamps, which Craftsmate figured out anyway, to the issues that had come up. Of course, the moment we all couldn’t speak freely, I suddenly decided I could handle communication. Usually, the idea of it makes me a little nauseous. I’m a bit too eager to avoid conflict.

So, there we were on the couch. Craftsmate had his arm around me and Penthouse was holding my hand. It was this weird moment where I realized just how new to this I am and just how much I really am playing it by ear a lot.

And so I am always flattered when you all claim I have my shit together and I’m a good example or an expert or a reliable source. But, gosh, guys. I’m stumbling in the dark just as much as anybody else.