important

I’m not trying to assume anything here and if I’m off base then just ignore this, but don’t you worry about hurting your wife? My wife keeps telling me she wants it rough and I’m trying, but I refuse to hurt her. How do you do it and still sleep at night?

Standard

romanticdominant-deactivated201:

When Tori and I were first starting to explore D/s, I worried myself sick that I would indeed hurt her at some point and never be able to forgive myself.

She is my world and I love her more than life so, yes, it was a VERY difficult thing to reconcile in my head. I love her, but I hit her? WTF?

For a long time, I discounted the idea that anyone could find pleasure through pain, but I have had to eat those words. Please don’t misunderstand, I would NEVER, EVER really harm Tori, but within the confines of safe, sane and consensual play, rough, dominant behavior from me took our sex to a level I could never have imagined.

What I came to understand and accept was that the level of force Tori and I needed was not something that could cause real damage. For us, dominance and control was what made our D/s work.

In addition, we ALWAYS approached anything new slowly and with great caution. She had her safeword and I absolutely trusted her to use it if things went too far and she absolutely trusted me to stop immediately if she used it.

Whenever we play, her safety is my first priority. I NEVER scene with her if my head isn’t completely in the right zone. Anger, frustration, impatience etc. have no place in D/s. You must be in control of your emotions, the scene, everything or postpone till you’re ready.

Gallery

Pride is the sexiest feeling. Outdoing yourself and surprising yourself are such rewarding things during kink. And encouragement and recognition is so, so, so important.

pimpmypaws:

I love Maitresse Madeline. Not only is she ridiculously sexy, but she really brings out the best in her partners. Melina Mason kept crying at the beginning and Maitresse kept stopping to comfort her (per Kink.com shooting rules) before ramping up the intensity again, but as she was flogging her she kept saying things like ‘Look at how strong you are!’ and calling Melina powerful and telling her how turned on she was. And you could tell Melina was absolutely loving it, even calling it the best sex she’d ever had in the closing interview.

Video

This video is an excerpt from the film Miss Representation.

And I suggest everyone watch this. Really. All of you. Seriously. If not the full documentary, at least this 8 minute clip.

I had an ex, when I tried to tell him about it, inform me that apparently this was “bullshit” and women “already had equality.” Needless to say (and for other reasons that aren’t all that distant from this), I don’t speak to him anymore.

(Source: https://player.vimeo.com/)