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The statement that all people are “a bit bisexual” is harmful. And why? Because fluidity of sexuality and bisexuality are two separate concepts and are not interchangeable. By saying that all people are bisexual to one degree or another only erases the identity of people who do identify as bisexual. This creates the culture in which “We’re all told bisexuality is a phase that everyone goes through and grows out of, and no one’s a ‘proper’ bisexual, even though everyone’s bisexual really,” as Marcus Morgan puts it.

Sarah O’Rourke, “I think everyone’s a bit bisexual”: identity erasure and biphobia (via owlswearglasses)

I was at a party last night and I was talking to this woman and somehow pretty girls came up.

She got all excited and was like, “wait, you’re into girls?”

And I was like, “…yeah.”

She was all, “well? What are you?”

I thought it was a super weird way to phrase it. Because, you know, what I am is a person. But I humored her. “I’m bisexual.”

“Like 50/50?” she asked.

“Uh,” I thought about it and approximated, “like 70 girls, 30 guys?”

She laughed, “how old are you?” I figured she was about to be like oh yeah all girls your age claim they’re bisexual, blah blah blah.

“22,” I replied.

“Oh, yeah, that’s what I thought when I was 22, too,” she winked. “And now I’m just a lesbian.”

I was kind of relieved that she wasn’t trying to tell me I was just some straight girl. But, I realize her trying to tell me I was just a confused lesbian was just kind of just as harmful.

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There was a guy in my life my freshman year. He was very attractive, very funny, very intelligent. But, there was something a little uncomfortable and closed off about him. We stayed friendly, but our schedules and interests just couldn’t sync the right way. But, I am still proud to hear that he’s found his own and has embraced his bisexuality and is now so comfortable in his own skin. 

The other night, I ran into him and a guy in their costumes dancing up a storm at one of the parties we hit up. He looked so comfortable, I was happy for him.

“Now, who is this?” I asked with a chuckle, “last time I checked, you said you didn’t dance.”

He smiled, “look at you.” He broke off from the guy and started dancing with me. He spun me around so my back was to him and kind of pushed me into the other guy. I assumed that he had made a mistake or was just trying to pass me off, but I still felt him behind me.

So, I wind up between them. Their hands were all over me. His dance partner was grinning at me. The music was sensational. Not to mention their moves were insane. I was getting practically passed back and forth at some points, at others both of them were on me. I have to admit, it made me hot. They knew what they were doing. And, the fact that they were into each other as well as into me? Goodness gracious.

I look over to the group I was with and notice that guy in my frat checking me out. He smiled when we made eye contact. I winked. Eye-fucking commenced. And then: “It’s funny.”

I smiled, “what’s funny?" 

"That there’s two of them and they still can’t handle you.”

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Sometimes, I want to find myself a sweet girl with a few vague, confusing fantasies and completely turn her world upside down. 

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Seriously. 

So, I got into a really amazing conversation with that friend from elementary school and we were making jokes about having to “come out”. And she goes, “so, are you out to everyone?" 

And I really thought about it. In truth, I’m not. There are some people I have withheld my sexuality from and I never really understood why. Then, it sort of came to me. I wouldn’t walk up to someone and be like, "oh, hi, my name is Ivy and I’m straight.” Nobody does that.

So, why does sexuality have to come to the table so quickly? Or at all? Why does it even warrant explanation? If I’m in a relationship, I’m in a relationship. Not a gay relationship, not a straight relationship. Thus, I’m thinking here that maybe this whole notion of having to “reveal” gayness/bisexuality/whatever the hell you want to call it is a really silly, unnecessary process that really only further etches this line that we’ve been trying to erase. 

Man, this tumblr has gotten preachy. I promise to tone it down!