I’d like to just leave a list right here of all the awkward from hanging with the guy from Ivy University:

• When I got to his place, the door was sort of propped open and I knocked to find him sort of just standing in the middle of the room with his shirt off. He just started apologizing and getting dressed and I stood in the foyer laughing hysterically while he tried to explain that it was really hot in there and he had not gotten my text that I was outside.
• He kind of awkwardly apologized for my random crisis that I had when he found me. And then, for the first time ever, I saw my tumblr on somebody else’s computer. Which was really strange.
• He very graciously allowed me to look at his knives and then I very awkwardly accidentally cut my finger on one. So, uh, yeah, things usually get uncomfortable once somebody starts bleeding.
• He, out of nowhere, guessed with perfect accuracy the third location in this post. And then jokingly complained that now he wasn’t going to be able to go over there without it being a “blowjob place, gross”.
• He figured out who Byron and Blue were. He knows them. And when he put two and two together, his face was a mixture of the expressions one might have if a) you find out Santa isn’t real and b) you find out Mark Wahlberg used to be Marky Mark. Like, the two of those blended together.
• We wound up chilling for a little bit with one of my other friends and I was telling her something that wasn’t sexual had been mentioned on this tumblr and he was like, “oh, yeah, you said…” and I sort of gave him the glare from hell because I was super paranoid.
• He handmade this really awesome flogger and since I’m a huge fan of DIY and being a bitch, I asked to see it in action. He let me hit him first which honestly consisted of me flailing the thing in his direction, freaking out, and then saying I wanted to do it the “kink.com” way. Which was basically just me, once again, flailing the thing in his direction and freaking out.