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So, odds are that viewer was not SG. As we talked tonight. And he’s the type to bring it up.

He did, ironically, suggest we make a blog together. But about something non-sexual. Because I tested the waters with, “people keep suggesting I make a blog but I don’t know what it would be about.” So. Yeah. Hah.

But, just to make sure it’s not SG, I’m going to post all the things about him that kind of annoy me. Because I have been far too nice to him on this tumblr.

  1. When I get too lazy to walk further down the hall and use the nearby men’s room instead and he decides to come in and pretend to be a stranger. Because he knows I won’t leave the stall until the other person leaves for fear of awkwardly getting caught. And so he just doesn’t leave and then starts laughing at me.
  2. When he comments on random pictures of me on facebook with the phrase “boobs”.
  3. The fact that he has effectively charmed my mother and formed a friendship with her completely independent of ours. And so they have fun ganging up on me.
  4. How sometimes he forgets context and calls me “slut”. Usually over text message. Usually when I’ve done something well. Usually in the phrasing: “Congratulations, slut.”
  5. When he calls me a dirty communist/hippy/vegetarian.
  6. When he declares that he’s the 1%.
  7. Numbers 5 and 6, when they happen during sex.
  8. When he intentionally says something blatantly offensive that he obviously doesn’t believe just to see me get angry and then laugh about how easily he got me upset.

Now do you all see what I have to put up with?

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I’m silly sometimes.

Well, I’m silly a lot of the time. 

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I’ve decided to take up learning German. Rather than consulting something legitimate or taking a class, I’ve instead begun gleaning little words and phrases off of my two German-speaking friends at my university. This would be all fine and good, except I choose incredibly inappropriate times to practice them.

Friend: Let’s go grab some lunch.

Me: Guten abend, Bürgermeister. 

Friend #2: Ivy…

Me: Ja, Fräulein?

Friend #2: Please stop butchering German.

Me: Ferme la bouche.

Friend: Ivy, that’s French.

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Confession: After I get really comfortable with someone and we’ve gotten “sexual” a few times, I get a little too comfortable. I’ve been known to be a bit silly. 

darksideoffate:

blowing up a condom, haha. from here: http://fleshbot.com/#!5803642/stoya-would-like-a-word-with-you

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Confession: When I get stressed out, I like to dance around to music in my room. However, as the description of this tumblr states, I have thin walls and I feel bad for playing the same five (terrible) songs over and over. So, I usually wind up being a human iPod commercial with my headphones in. 

Today, I’m wearing a knee-high heeled boots (no, this is not to begin your masturbatory fantasy, or…) that kind of make noise when I walk. My roommate from last year now lives directly below me and I just got this text from her, “dancing? 😛 If you’re stressed out, I’ve got cookies.”

Oh, good, now that I know my floors are thin, too…