Sir: It’s bedtime.
Me: But.
Sir: No buts.
Me: Not even my butt?
Sir: Your butt is okay.
Sir: Actually it’s fabulous.
Sir: “Righteous,” as you called it in that first email you sent me two years ago.
Sir: Lol righteous. I always loved that.
Me: ARE YOU BEING A CHEESEFACE AND READING OUR OLD EMAILS?
Sir: No, I just remembered.
Me: Awww everyone thinks you’re a tough guy but I know the truth.
Me: You’re a CHEESEFACE.
Sir: It takes a special someone to dig out the cheese.
Me: I’m the cheesemonger of your heart.