Me: Oh we should watch Haunting of Hill House this will be so great.
Me: *spends 70% of time hiding face in Pup’s chest*
Pup: This was a terrible idea. I’m turning this off.
Me: Nooo don’t. I’m getting so much out of this.
domestic bliss
Because I am lowkey the chattiest lay ever:
Pup, during a conversation about dirty talk and sex noises: I’ve always preferred just noise over talking, honestly. I dirty talk because I know you love it.
Me: Aw, really? I mean, we could totally try being quiet. That could be kind of hot.
Pup: Babydoll, no offense, but I don’t think you can have sex without talking.
SO WE HOSTED THANKSGIVING THIS YEAR AND AH, THIS HAPPENED.
Pup’s Father: Sorry we turned up so early. Turns out we can’t check in until 4.
Me: That’s fine, don’t worry about it.
Pup’s Mother: We’re staying at [hotel that I went to with @doctortease to do that scene where he put a speculum in me and I clenched so hard I pushed it out]. Have you heard of it?
Me: [nearly chokes on my drink]
Pup: [trying his damnedest to keep a neutral expression and not laugh]
Me: Yeah, ah. It’s very nice.
Femme Problems
Me: Hey, I dozed off. Why didn’t you wake me? Didn’t you want to get to the bar like half an hour ago?
Pup: I assumed you were getting ready.
Me: What?!
Pup: I don’t know. It usually takes you two hours to put clothes on.
Somehow this evening went from Pup saying “that’s a cute shirt” to us fucking on the couch to him cumming all over my chest.
Oldest trick in the book?