bondage

“The thing I’m most afraid of is me. Of not knowing what I’m going to do. Of not knowing what I’m doing right now.“ – Haruki Murakami, IQ84.

I’m kind of obsessed with bondage that involves hair right now.

I’ve got this sick little fantasy of being taken to some kind of play party or orgy and just left like this by my partner. Helpless, scared, exposed. And, worst of all, unsure of when they’ll return.

Earlier, they’ve totally arranged with some other people that I haven’t met before to come over once they’ve left me and taunt me. Like, really taunt me. Pinch my nipples, pull my hair, rip off whatever little clothing I’m wearing and grope my nude body, ask me if I think my partner’s going to come back for me. Of course, they’ll already know my limits and respect them while still absolutely terrifying me.

I can’t decide if I like the idea of my partner watching from a distance or my partner having a video of it to watch later. Maybe both?

Rope was my earliest kink. Before any of it was sexual, before any of it even remotely made sense. I just wanted to be so lost in it, I’d fade away.

I’m really into the idea of hanging out tied up like this. Getting tied up, gagged, but then just watching a movie. Essentially, having a vanilla date night in, except I’m nude, bound and gagged while the other person proceeds as if everything is standard.

Of course, they’ll be free to wear clothing and talk at me. In fact, encouraged.I like the sort of condescending one-directional conversation that happens when someone is pretending – but not really – that you can actually respond and nothing’s out of the ordinary.