Like a Brisket, Part Nine
When I was out of the hogtie, Penthouse cracked some joke, asked everyone if they wanted to see something funny, and threw me over his shoulder. I flailed a bit, mostly because I was wearing a dress and I had accidentally flashed my butt enough that evening.
“Be careful,” I said when he put me down. “I can kick your ass.”
He chuckled, “fine. Come here and kick my ass.”
Welp, I made a conscious effort to do that. Honestly. But I wound up over the kid’s knee pretty quickly. I squirmed and fought and tried to sit up, but he had me down pretty well.
“I think Ivy needs a spanking,” Penthouse said. “What do you think, Prodigy?”
“I defer to Craftsmate,” The Prodigy replied.
Craftsmate snorted, “and I defer to Ivy.”
So, here I am, over this guy’s lap, in a group of kinky people, having to decide whether or not I deserve to get spanked. And, tumblr, it’s damn hard for me to articulate when I want something like that. It’s part of the whole shame thing. I would rather have someone else impose it upon me and pretend I dislike it than admit I want it. Yes, even in a crowd of kinky people I was ashamed to admit I enjoy it.
But, part of it was the issue of tone. I wasn’t sure if the entire day was supposed to be entirely demonstrative and academic or cross into something more playful. Thus, I am over somebody’s knee attempting not to get turned on. I am literally going over in my head and telling myself not to act like I liked this when it was pretty obvious that I did.
“Well,” I answered to Penthouse, “I guess I defer to you.”
That spanking hurt like a bitch. In a good way. But what didn’t hurt in a good way was how anxious I was getting and unnecessarily insecure around the people I should have been the least insecure with. Oh, shame.