The five things I would do if I were a man for a day would be: not wear makeup, walk around after dark, run for public office, wear pants with adequate pockets and, uh, I don’t know…I guess just generally have more confidence at work. I work for a lot of benevolently sexist dudes.
Uncategorized
15, 20, 31, 35, 75
Standard15. The most embarrassing thing that’s happened to me during sex is probably that I was sleep-deprived and fell asleep multiple times during my first threesome. I’ve written about it before on here, I think. Also queefing is generally just an unfortunate fact of life?
20. If I could have sex with anyONE right now…ugh, I don’t know. I’ve got a list. I’m greedy.
31. I’m not sure how to answer what the weirdest sexual act someone has performed on me is – it depends on your metric of weird! What’s our operating definition of weird here? SG and I once climbed inside of a giant outdoor sculpture when I was in college and I proceeded to give him a blowjob in there. Maybe that’s like the most unusual vanilla thing I’ve done. I don’t want to classify kinky stuff as weird.
35. The worst possible time to get horny is at work, definitely. Absolutely. No question. So inconvenient.
75. I have never anonymously sent a sexual ask on Tumblr. I believe in getting explicit, enthusiastic consent prior to talking dirty with someone for the first time.
For NSFW asks: 84 and 87
Standard84. I love dirty talk! First of all, I think communication during sexual activity is important, even if I am entirely too blushy to effectively do it myself sometimes. But more than that, I get **really** turned on by it. (And entirely silent sexual encounters kinda freak me out.) Like, I replay good dirty talk in my head, I reread good dirty texts. I’m a big reader in general, so maybe it comes from that? I place a lot of value on the power of words.
87. To that end, I usually prefer reading smut/erotica to watching porn. A lot of porn is grossly exploitative or formulaic or just plain dull. If I’m going to watch something, I usually prefer homemade shit. I like the enthusiasm, the genuineness – seeing somebody’s cat just kinda wander into the shot and whatnot. I also bought Fifty Shades of Dylan Ryan after hearing about it at a feminist porn conference I went to with @herdirtylittleheart and watch that kinda often.
That thing where you reblog a NSFW asks post and then almost immediately fall asleep.
Got some good ones, some cute ones, some blushy ones. I’ll hit them up today and answer whatever else comes.
NSFW asks
Standard1:When did you lose your virginity?
2: Rough sex or soft sex?
3: Do you have any unusual kinks/fetishes?
4: Weirdest place you’ve had sex?
5: Favourite sex position?
6: Do you like to be dominant or submissive?
7: Have you ever had any one night stands?
8: Sex on the bed, couch or the floor?
9: Have you ever had sex in a public place?
10: Have you ever been caught masturbating?
11: What does your favourite sexy underwear look like?
12: How often do you have sex?
13: Is there anybody right now you’d like to have sex with?
14: Do you prefer giving or receiving oral sex?
15: Most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you during sex?
16: A song you’d listen to during hard/rough/kinky sex?
17: A song you’d listen to during soft/slow/passionate sex?
18: Are you into dressing up for sex?
19: Would you prefer sex in the bath or sex in the shower?
20: If you could have sex with anyone right now, who would it be?
21: Have you ever had a threesome? If not, would you?
22: Do you/would you use sex toys?
23: Have you ever sent someone a dirty text/picture?
24: Would you have sex with your best friend?
25: Is there anything you do after sex? (for example, smoke, eat, drink)
26: Something that will never fail to get you horny?
27: Early morning sex or late night sex?
28: Favourite body part on the opposite sex?
29: Favourite body part on the same sex?
30: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:
31: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you:
32: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?]
33: Is it ever okay to not use a condom:
34: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:
35: Worst possible time to get horny:
36: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans?
37: How much fapping is too much fapping:
38: Best sexual complement you ever got:
39: Favorite foreplay activities:
40: What do you wear to bed?
41: When was the first time you masturbated:
42: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?
43: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?
44: Have/would you ever have sex in public?
45: Have/would you ever had a threesome?
46: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?
47: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not?
48: Do you like oral sex? (why/why not)
49: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in?
50: How would you feel about taking someones virginity?
51: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?
52: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?
53: Do you watch porn?
54: Have you ever been called a freak? Why?
55: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”?
56: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair?
57: If you could give yourself head, would you?
58: Booty or Boobs?
59: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)
60: If you were the other sex for a day, what are five things you would do?
61: have you ever watched someone masturbate?
62: has anyone ever watched you masturbate?
63. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed?
64. What is your method of masturbation? (ie. toys, clitorial, prostate)
65. What is your bra/penis size?
66. What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus?
67. When was the last time you masturbated?
68. When was the last time you had sex?
69. When was the last time you watched porn?
70. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do?
71. Guys:Circumsized?
72. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched?
73. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched?
74. Girls:Are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation?
75. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr?
76. When was the last time you have had a wet dream?
77. Which wet dream was your favorite?
78. Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with?
79. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with?
80. Favorite sexual position?
81. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed?
82. Are you into any BDSM?
83. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldnt for any reason? Why?
84. Do you like dirty talk?
85. Are you loud or quiet during sex? Masturbation?
86. Have you ever been inturrepted during sex or masturbation? Who/what?
87. What kind of porn do you like to watch?
88. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them?
89. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn’t there when you needed them?
90. Have you ever had a one night stand? Do you still keep in contact with them?
91. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial?
*sees kinky porn gif on dash, considers whether to like or reblog and reveal kink*
They ain’t ready. *likes and continues scrolling*
*scrolls back up*
Fuck it, You gon’ learn today.
*reblogs*
“When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.” — Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore.
Predicted cause of death:
StandardContinuing to tell sadists I’m going to fuck them up.
Or telling them to “fight me”
DID YOU MEET IVY?!
Standard
Oh welp it’s me.