So, I’ve done consensual non-consent with men and women, so it’s got nothing to do with “a man taking charge” at all. I think kink is itself a sexuality. I don’t know why I’m attracted to men and women. I don’t know why I like bondage or anything else. 

I don’t “give up control” in the bedroom. I maintain control through the use of safewords and checking in. And consensual non-consent is not the antithesis of equality.