Me: I definitely need to get a glass dildo now.
Saltine, Pup’s Partner: Yessss. I like how it’ll get to my body temperature.
Me: I just like the weight. It’s this nice balance between like vaguely heavy but also light but not as light as silicone.
Saltine: I don’t dig ethereal cocks.
Me: Hahaha “ethereal cocks” is the name of my new band.
Saltine: Ivy and the Ethereal Cocks.
Me: Oh my God, yes.
Saltine: You need a better name. It’s gotta be like: Cunt-Punch and the Ethereal Cocks.
Me: Ughhh I refuse to carry that cunt punch around with me.
Me: I refuse to have my life dictated by one cunt punch.