Me: I think I am just about done with that guy from my frat. He just took a random girl home, he’s been sending way too many mixed signals, he’s also getting more and more ambiguous about his girlfriend…
My friend: No. NO. You can’t do that.
Me: Why not?
My friend: Because if this were a fanfic, I’d ship you guys. I’d ship you all day.
Me: Oh my God, stop it.
My friend: Listen, I was a dorky guy when I was a kid. But [a Brangelina-type mix of my and his name] is just too good.
Me: You definitely came up with that way too fast.
My friend: It’s a really good ship and you can’t mess with it.
Me: I can’t believe we’re having this conversation right now.