anxious – Ivy

Though she wanted to be shared, she was frightened at the prospect of someone new having control.

And so, when the time came that she was to be given to someone else, he sat with her. He played with her hair, he stroked her cheek, he whispered encouragements. He grounded her when everything else seemed so foreign and terrifying.

Even though she could not see him, she felt safe, if not a little bashful for how much she was enjoying herself. And when it was done he held her and they both, in their own ways, were proud.

I never outgrew that childish anxiety that comes the night before something new or important. I can’t make myself sleep before first days of classes, trips, etc.

And so I can’t sleep before this silly munch. Because I am unbelievably lame.

But, guys, it’s like my cotillon into kinky society. So bear with me here. I’m just an anxious little debutante, clearly.