So, this is a tough one. Mostly because I view virginity as a [heteronormative, usually] construct and because I typically want to have sex with people in my age group. What this means is that someone who views themselves as a virgin and identifies as such usually places some value on the idea of virginity. As people leave their teens and get deeper into their twenties and still identify as virgins, that usually means this was for a very specific and serious reason. I don’t shame anyone for that, and if it’s something that is meaningful to them, I say all power to it.

But, what that means is that I’m in a position to do something that has held some serious weight for the person in the past. I say something because sex is a pretty broad term, depending on the gender of the person involved and what they consider “sex” to be. Some people consider cunnilingus to be sex, some don’t, for instance. 

I do take the stuff I do seriously to the extent that I make informed decisions about what I want, I pace myself in a way that makes me feel comfortable and I keep the lines of communication wide open. But, I don’t ascribe the sort of seriousness to certain acts that someone who identifies as a virgin does. And I would prefer them to do stuff with someone who holds it to the same level of seriousness, who can honor it the way they want it to be honored.

I hope that makes sense?