Pup arrives at my house and rings the doorbell. I’d just been at his place a few hours ago.
Me: What are you doing here?
Pup: I texted you. I needed to get my toy bag.
Me: Didn’t Saltine just go over to your place? We were just texting.
Pup: Yeah.
Me: Then why are you over here? Go be with Saltine.
Pup: …all my condoms are in the toy bag.
Me: This is going on my stupid blog.