nanking-decade:

Dear Tumblr, I had not expected the overwhelming response to my little game with my girl. I had expected 30, maybe 50, but certainly not close to 200 notes. I appreciate that the enthusiasm was well-meaning, but I will take this opportunity to remind everyone that fun and erotic…

I have always had trouble trusting people, in and out of the bedroom. In kink, it manifested in me shying away from vulnerability and using my safeword long before I had left my comfort zone. I did not trust the person to know when to stop or to understand my boundaries.

I tried to put on a brave face about how many people liked and reblogged. I had wanted to enjoyed it – I thought I was going to like it. But I also thought it wouldn’t surpass 30ish likes.

But I honestly felt upset and nauseous. I’m still unsure what specifically bothered me.

It means a lot to me that long before this post was made, he expressed that he would not be sticking to the crazy 3 hour span that this spawned. And it means even more that he took my reluctance seriously.

I told him that I trusted him to intervene before things became too much. He honored my trust. So I suppose something really great did come out of this.