Consider this option? To what? Decide to let the stranger in my inbox dictate my sexual identity?

I am not sure what you picture poly people to be like. It seems you think they are immune to human emotions and human error. This is not the case. Polyamory is rife with jealousy and insecurity because human beings are full of jealousy and insecurity. The thing is, with trust and accountability, you’re able to transcend that.

What I felt when I saw the message was insecurity about the fact that I couldn’t provide that for my boyfriend. It had nothing to do with the other person so much as what she represented: I was insecure that I couldn’t be 100% what he wanted in bed.

Our vanilla relationship is really strong and healthy. We do really well with each other and for that I am grateful. But we recognize that we are both interested in nonmonogamy and he wants his painslut, I want my Daddy and some lady love, and we are both okay with that.

In fact, we genuinely want that for each other. We’ve talked about it and expressed that. And because our vanilla relationship is stronger than a few chocolate things that don’t match up, having other partners isn’t going to topple the relationship provided we continue to be accountable and honest about them. And I am genuinely happy at the prospect of another person fulfilling this need for him and he feels the same way and has been really encouraging about the Daddy thing. Because we love each other and we know that forming a deep bond with another person won’t diminish ours.

So, I am not sure why you are so invested in my sexual identity or why you feel the need to try to negate it. But I am going to have to ask you to mind your own goddamn business. Consider that option.