“My girlfriend and I are Roger and Jane,” the Southern Gentleman commented as we watched Mad Men.
I blinked. “Please don’t tell me that. She’s a nice girl.”
Last week, he’d complained about her talking dirty not because she actually genuinely wanted to but to make him happy. It was unenthusiastic and a little sad. He’s always conflicted about her and he always comes to me about it.
“She’s so fun and beautiful and happy,” he continued, “but so…just…she doesn’t look beyond herself. She can’t look beyond herself.”
I sighed, “this is me saying this to you as a friend. But please promise me you won’t shack up with just another version of her. Because I know that’s going to be the easy and safe and fun option for you and it’s what a lot of the people around you are going to like. Please pick someone I can bear sitting around on a porch and smoking a joint with.” I realized how deep I’d just gotten and tacked on, “end of preaching, I promise.”
Somehow, he seemed all right with what I said and replied, “can we talk about this some more later?”
“Yeah, man,” I returned my attention to the tv, “woah. This is a really hip Viagra commercial.”
When we have these conversations, it’s when I realize I value him more as a close friend than as someone I mess around with. It’s strange to care so much about someone you’re physically involved with but to want to imagine being friends with them 20 years down the line than being with them. I know we’re not meant for each other and I don’t want to force it. But there’s a sensitivity there between the two of us. We really, honestly care about each other. We genuinely understand each other. And while we have really awesome sex, there’s something a lot deeper there that isn’t romantic so much as a really deep compassion between two very similar people. This blog tends to really capture only the silliness and sexuality which, while key to our relationship, is not its entirety at all.
Yikes, this was deeply personal post. Can we please end on a moment of silent appreciation for the pink towel on Roger’s head?
Great Moments in Freeze Frame #1696 – Mad Men