It’s not so much a scenario as it is a feeling. One I’ve certainly explored from time to time and taken quite a few forays deeply into.

I’m talking dehumanization. I don’t mean like being made to act like a puppy or like a piece of furniture. I mean completely losing my sense of self, my sense of being, most of my thoughts in order to simply be able to serve. 

I want to be pushed to such a degree that I believe that I am just a fucktoy. I’ve been called it, I’ve been told to call myself it, but I’ve never truly, sincerely, at the pit of my gut felt it. I want to lose touch with my wants and feelings and give myself over to this prevailing feeling that I exist completely to serve. It becomes hard for me to process complex thoughts beyond anything of or related to serving. 

I’ve been pushed to that place a few times and it has been so incredibly rewarding. The relief from responsibility and needs is like no other. The single-mindedness of the tasks is almost therapeutic. I completely lose my desire for anything sexual performed upon myself, I solely want to serve and please. I usually start referring to myself in the third person as some sort of derogatory term, usually at the prompting of the other party. 

Not to say that this is what I want all the time. Hell no. I like getting mine just as much as I like giving.