So, here’s the deal with this infamous ex-boyfriend who I still talk to and who I mention directly and indirectly (he picks up on these, too) a lot so far in my tumblr’s small life:
He does not go to school with me. He does not live terribly close to where I go to school, though he does live fairly near where I live “at home”. He and I are not in the same place in our lives at the moment and it feels like, while the connection between us is so obvious, the rest of the world doesn’t fall together around us quite as neatly.
Simply put: We were absolutely the right people at absolutely the wrong time.
And that’s what seriously, seriously kills me. Because it’s hard to call a “relationship” quits when we’re both very, very deeply in love with each other, when we have something incredibly special, when we understand each other on a level that neither has experienced before, and when we cannot imagine our lives without the other present in some form.
So, we still mess around. We still talk. We still play. We still confide in each other. We still joke. We are still the same, basically, but without the pressures of a “normal” sort of “relationship”. This both comforts me and upsets me. This whole thing is relatively new, with us “breaking up” fairly recently, and we’re both sort of getting a feel for this different level of our “relationship”.
We miss each other, we love each other, and we absolutely want the best for each other. And, right now, the pressures of maintaining a serious relationship are just making us stressed out.
The quote chosen by the amazing sheslostcontrol-again to caption this photo is so, so real to me right now. I love Bukowski.
“The shortest distance between two points is often unbearable.”
— Charles Bukowskiwanderer-of-dark-dreams: astralis: pinkprincess17:masochisticbeauty: