True story: My friend and I were in the car, she was driving, and we were looking for this new store that had just opened. The traffic was bad, so she asked me to “be her eyes” and keep a watch for the store. 

I was like, “sure” and put my hands up to my eyes and fanned my fingers out and she started freaking the fuck out. 

So that’s pretty much what I’m like when I’m not having sex.