There’s this guy who goes to college with me with this sexy, deep voice. The perfect kind of voice for dominating. Like, literally, he opens his mouth and my panties have the potential to just get soaked right through.

Here’s the thing: he’s not into anything like that at all. He’s incredibly committed to his girlfriend, who I’m fairly sure in their three years together he’s only done so much as kissed. He’s just this sweet guy who wouldn’t harm a fly and he’s just about as vanilla as they come. 

We eat lunch together fairly often. It’s just torture.