In other news.

After some really, really wonderful things today after some monstrous amounts of stress, I’m going out tonight. Even my mother insists. (Seriously.) I’ve been far too hard on myself and while it’s clearly paid off, I need to give myself something senseless and fun.

Like this week’s episode of Dance Moms. Yes, I watch Dance Moms. We all have our vices, but at least I’m not wearing a full suit of beef jerky or putting my child in a burlesque routine.

Someone please tell me that they’ve gotten the rights to the porn name The Sausage King of Canton.