Two nights ago, something pretty crappy happened with my family. It was totally out of left-field and never something I had imagined would ever happen. I’m still kind of reeling from it, but I’m doing a lot better that I thought I would be, all things considered.
But when I learned about it, I had a pretty massive panic attack. I have anxiety, and this stuff happens, but I’ve never had one this bad. My whole body was shaking, I wasn’t saying the right words. Given the circumstances, it was a “natural” reaction, but it was still incredibly frightening.
I was about to go to bed when I found out and I started texting Sir frantically. He was able to calm me down somewhat, and I was so grateful for him for being so understanding and gentle during the whole thing. It’s one of the reasons I love him so much and why I believe he’s such a keeper.
The next morning, I found out from Pup that he’d tried to get in contact with him. Pup was, understandably, asleep. When I asked Sir about it, he said that because he wasn’t able to care for me in person, he wanted to send someone over who could.
Even my therapist, who is a bit of a non-monogamy skeptic sometimes, was incredibly impressed like this. It shows that Sir trusts his place in my life to the degree that sending over another man to comfort me wouldn’t feel threatening. It shows that he also trusts Pup and me, as well as respecting the dynamic we’re building. It was just this really amazing, really selfless gesture that demonstrated that Sir totally prioritized my feeling safe and comfortable over the hierarchy of our non-monogamy.
In light of all the crap that went down, there’s my silver lining. I realized that our non-monogamy has matured so much in the last year and that we really, really do trust each other.
Also if you told me five years ago that my poly game would be this strong, I wouldn’t believe you. Here’s to keeping relationships healthy and supportive for another 5 (plus!) years.