Yeah, so Sir has a crush on Ariana Grande. She is 21 and five feet tall. She has a youthful face. All three of these facts were also true of me when Sir met me. 

It’s true that I get super annoyed when people reblog my photos and add the tag “teen” when I haven’t been a teenager for about five years now, fetishizing the whole “is she or isn’t she” barely legal thing. It’s also true that Sir was messing around with a woman in her 30s for a little bit, so I’m not sure if “young-looking” is exactly his type.

But Ariana Grande’s a pretty girl. I’d like to imagine that I, too, am a pretty girl. We both are navigating a space where a lot of the stuff we like toes a line or feels a little problematic. But I don’t think I’m sublimating an actual desire to be kidnapped and tortured, and I don’t think he’s sublimating some kind of pedophilia. 

I hate diagnosing the “why” of what we like, but maybe it’s the fact that she’s confident enough to walk around in cat ears. Or the fact that she’s got a lot of hair, she has a cute smile, she has pretty eyes and she dresses in a way that he finds appealing. 

I’m often mistaken for being much younger, and I don’t want to go down the rabbit hole of diagnosing every man or woman who has been attracted to me, especially this early in the morning. But reducing Ariana Grande’s attractiveness to her youthfulness is also robbing her of a lot of agency in this situation, and basically tells her that she’s not allowed to be sexual because of things she can’t control (the size of her frame, the wideness of her eyes, etc.) 

So, no, I don’t find it disturbing.