This is a really great question!

In terms of looking for similarities with Sir: Not really, I’m not really looking for a surrogate Sir over here in the Midwest. Sometimes there’s some overlap just by virtue of my tastes and interests. But, I’m not looking for another carbon copy to fill his shoes.

What I’m really looking for is to explore different people and see what comes of it. Part of the ethics of my non-monogamy is the idea that it’s impossible and unfair to demand sort of everything all the time of one person. Not that each person I see has a niche or a category, but it’s nice to be able to be like, “oh, it’s okay that so-and-so won’t do this, because we have wonderful chemistry and do all of this other stuff, but this other person will definitely do that.”

Essentially, what it boils down to is I’m looking for good chemistry, openness and a respect for my primary relationship. Whether that turns into a stable relationship or just a fling really depends on what kind of dynamic I see developing between that person and I.