Anonymous said: If you’re worried about making people’s dashes spammy, if there are a lot of anon messages requiring a short answer, you could just copy them into one big post maybe? (And I realize that adding another message isn’t exactly helping the backlog, sorry for that :P) FWIW, though, I always enjoy your posts and would not mind my dashboard getting spammed up if it was you.
Ivy says: Great idea! Here goes.
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Anonymous said: Oh man… your Sir’s blog used to scare the shit out of me, and now it’s doing something weird and tingly to my princess parts. How did I fall so far into this rabbit hole that is BDSM?
Ivy says: What’s really cool about sexuality is that it isn’t set in stone. Stuff I used to find impossible or even kind of triggering about his interests are now things that I am trying and even enjoying. And stuff that he once found too soft or uninteresting is now getting him very interested, too. So, enjoy the ride.
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Anonymous said: Do you have an opinion on consensual domestic discipline? Where do you feel that it fits in the bdsm world? A lot of people seem to shun people who practice it and im not sure why.
Ivy says: I’ll be honest and say I’m not entirely sure what consensual domestic discipline is. If you mean a sort of 24/7 D/s situation in which two (or more) consenting adults agree upon a set of rules and a set of punishments for those rules in a domestic setting, sure, okay. As long as there’s consent, I’m not sure what the issue is. Why are those people being shunned?
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Anonymous said: Hi, Ivy. How do you deal with a break up? I just went through my first one ever 🙁 With someone I trusted enough to call master. We were really close friends in addition to romance and we’re still trying to keep that which I think is the right thing. But I’m not sure how to fall out of love. And I don’t even need to, but I need to make that love secondary to our friendship. I’m just not sure how. Any advice?
Ivy says: First of all, I’m very sorry to hear about this break up with someone you love and trust so deeply. I hope the separation is for the best and that it helps you to continue to grow and prosper.
But, on the subject of dealing with it, the first thing to turn to is yourself. Surround yourself with people you love, do activities that make you happy, find something cathartic (anything from kickboxing to baking) that allows you to channel the emotions into something productive. And, while being close friends with someone you broke up with sometimes might work, it’s advisable to give yourself some space from that person first. There’s still a lot of emotions there and you need to be able to allow yourself time to heal before poking that wound, no matter how amicable the break up was.
I remember how crushing my first break up was from someone I had engaged with in a D/s context. I also remember how important it was to allow myself the space to have a healing process without that person, and how royally it messed me up whenever I let that person back in too soon.
I hope this helps. Sending you the biggest hug ever.
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Anonymous said: You seem to have a lot of fun in cars (good for you!).
Ivy says: Part of that is definitely because whenever I’m visiting my family, I have very little privacy. A car is, second to our homes, the most private place people can get. Even if it is relatively public.
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Anonymous said: Settle an argument for me, are woman really better at eating pussy?
Ivy says: People who enjoy eating pussy are better at eating pussy. It has nothing to do with gender. Bringing your enthusiasm to the table and taking some time to learn what your partner likes are what’s key to being good at eating pussy.