Okay, here goes.

1. I haven’t eaten meat for almost seven years, but I started eating fish again last summer. 

2. I know all the words to Kanye West’s “Gold Digger”. All. Of. Them.

3. Somewhere, on tumblr, there’s a picture of my boobs. Happy hunting.

4. For how much it conflicts with my beliefs, I love the book Atlas Shrugged. Points of it actually make me horny. It’s the only book that could make me pity and respect the absurdly wealthy. Both SG and another regular on my tumblr say it’s because the characters fuck like champs. Probably true.

5. I was excessively, absurdly, and mercilessly bullied by my classmates throughout the entirety of elementary school and most of middle school. The experience has left me completely intolerant of, well, intolerance. 

6. I didn’t start masturbating until my sophomore year of high school and didn’t have an orgasm until my freshman year of college. I squirted all over the poor guy’s face.

7. I have a lot of trouble sometimes with just saying “no” and missing out on an experience because not doing it may benefit me later.

8. Being John Malkovich, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, The Royal Tenenbaums, Zoolander, Anchorman and I Heart Huckabees are my favorite movies.

9. My mother knows I’m kinky. I tried to confide in her about it when I was a child and had some vague inklings about it. It’s put a ton of strain on our relationship, but I think she’s finally coming to terms with the fact that I’m responsible and I know what I want.

10. No matter how much reading I do, I’ll never fully understand economics. Or molecular biology.