Month: March 2016

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thinkivykink:

thinkivykink:

On March 6, this blog is going to be five years old.

I know, what? Really?

Five years ago, I started this blog feeling super insecure about myself and my kinks. I was frightened that some of my interests were too intense and worried I would be rejected by people if I was frank about what I wanted. This blog became a space for me to explore and articulate my sexuality, to come to terms with it. As I’ve said so many times before, it’s the only journal I have ever been able to keep.

It’s evolved so much from just a place to work through things. And even though my life has lately been really crazy, I’m always grateful to know this blog is a “safe” place for me that exists. I’ve gotten messages about being inspiring, and that’s always a little alarming to me. Mostly because I’m never fully sure if I actually have my shit together. But maybe that’s part of it?

Anyway, I want to celebrate the little five year birthday of this blog by inviting you all to treat yourselves. Seriously. If anything, writing these five years has taught me to be good to myself, to not judge myself, to delight in the qualities I once was ashamed of.

So do something great. Buy a new toy. Fulfill a new fantasy. Pick up a new hobby. Kinky or not, I want to hear about it. Send along a story, submit a photo, get creative and I’ll share ‘em on my blogaversary. (Anonymous/private submissions also welcome. If you don’t want me to share, just let me know!)

But seriously, tumblr. That’s my homework for you. Due on my desk by March 6.

Go go go!

Hey followers. The blogaversary is coming up! Remember to treat yourselves.

And tell me all about it.

Tomorrow! Tomorrow! Treat yourselves!

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I just wanna discuss that I just saw Zoolander 2 with Pup and I recognized Ariana Grande in a full-on latex gimp suit in legit three seconds. Like, nope, that’s def Ari under there.

And also there was this. So THAT WAS A THING.

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Sometimes I just want it too much.

Possessiveness 101

Standard

littlemousling:

Totally cool: “Hey, do you want to be exclusive?”

Red flag: “No one but me is allowed to touch you.”

Totally cool: “It makes me feel weird when you flirt with other people, can we talk about that?”

Red flag: “If you loved me, you would stop being friends with them. You KNOW it makes me jealous.”

Totally cool: “I hope we’re together forever. I’m so in this for the long haul.”

Red flag: “If you ever left me, I would kill myself.”

Totally cool: “Your mom is really unkind to me, can we try to minimize how often you bring me when you visit her?”

Red flag: “Your mom hates me, you need to stop talking to her. She’s trying to ruin our relationship.”

Totally cool: “I love you so much, oh my god.”

Red flag: “It’s a good thing I love you so much, because no one else would. You’d be alone forever without me.”

Other important red flags to keep in mind: someone who wants to jump into emotional/financial co-dependence very fast (like moving in together right away, or becoming each other’s only confidantes right away) and won’t take no for an answer; someone who tries to minimize how often you leave the house or interact with other people; someone who threatens you or themselves or your family or pets or possessions or financial future; someone who uses guilt to keep you from leaving a relationship.

Very important reminder: You do not need a reason to leave a relationship. Neither does the other person (or people). A relationship is over when one of the people in it says it’s over, period. Obviously it’s kind to take the end of a long relationship seriously, but abusers and manipulators have lost the right to that conversation. Lie if you need to–your safety is much more important than their feelings.

Trust your instincts!

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thinkivykink:

On March 6, this blog is going to be five years old.

I know, what? Really?

Five years ago, I started this blog feeling super insecure about myself and my kinks. I was frightened that some of my interests were too intense and worried I would be rejected by people if I was frank about what I wanted. This blog became a space for me to explore and articulate my sexuality, to come to terms with it. As I’ve said so many times before, it’s the only journal I have ever been able to keep.

It’s evolved so much from just a place to work through things. And even though my life has lately been really crazy, I’m always grateful to know this blog is a “safe” place for me that exists. I’ve gotten messages about being inspiring, and that’s always a little alarming to me. Mostly because I’m never fully sure if I actually have my shit together. But maybe that’s part of it?

Anyway, I want to celebrate the little five year birthday of this blog by inviting you all to treat yourselves. Seriously. If anything, writing these five years has taught me to be good to myself, to not judge myself, to delight in the qualities I once was ashamed of.

So do something great. Buy a new toy. Fulfill a new fantasy. Pick up a new hobby. Kinky or not, I want to hear about it. Send along a story, submit a photo, get creative and I’ll share ‘em on my blogaversary. (Anonymous/private submissions also welcome. If you don’t want me to share, just let me know!)

But seriously, tumblr. That’s my homework for you. Due on my desk by March 6.

Go go go!

Hey followers. The blogaversary is coming up! Remember to treat yourselves.

And tell me all about it.

Gallery

Someone messaged me saying they tried the rope harness thing over the weekend and loved it. And it legitimately made my day.

Keep doing the good stuff, buddies.