Hey, pouty. I hate to say this, but these feelings never fully go away. Sometimes, you’ll have amazing successes. Sometimes, you’ll feel serious compersion. But, you’ll always sometimes find yourself jealous or scared or selfish.
Here are some things that have helped me:
- COMMUNICATE. Even when it’s hard, even when you feel like you’re selfish, even when you’d rather just not. Speak your feelings and hear your partner’s out fairly. Try not to be judgmental. Try not to be hurtful.
- Find something that can be your “space” with your primary partner. A special time where it’s just you two talking, a special restaurant that’s just for you, songs that are just yours to share. It can help to keep something feeling “sacred” or just yours.
- Try to schedule poly activities simultaneously. He or she is out for a drink with a new hottie? Go dancing with somebody cute who’s been flirting with you.
- And, if possible, meet up afterwards for your own little post-date date.
- Have a special check-in time, maybe once every week or two weeks, to talk about the stuff you’re doing.
- Keeping a journal can be massively helpful. Whether or not you share it is up to you.
- Sometimes, it can help to start the journey together. Maybe with a couple who swings that you both are into?
Good luck!!!