Thanks for answering my questions Ivy. Logically I understand, but viscerally I don’t. Partly it is because I am always my whole, sensitive self and it is hard for me to be separate, distinct selves. Also, my gut reaction to dehumanization is negative. I’m not saying I think it is bad, it just makes me uncomfortable. However, I am attracted to flogging. I just don’t quite understand why. And sometimes I worry that it isn’t healthy to want someone to hurt me. From your answers, I gleaned that two important things in BDSM play are inner-strength and a partner your trust. Thanks for that :). xo Muriel

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Of course. And, honestly, it really just falls back on the basic idea of “different strokes for different folks”. Naturally, not everyone’s into BDSM. There’s stuff I’m not into, either (if you can believe it). You’re totally fine with having an uncomfortable reaction to it. Really. It’s just not for some people.

In reference to flogging, hey, no shame. Maybe give it a try in a safe setting sometime, but only if you’re uncomfortable. It’s natural to feel that wanting to be hurt is unhealthy, really. However, what’s less healthy is trying to suppress feelings, because it has caused me a lot of unnecessary pain in the past. But, honestly, at the root of everything, you only have to do what you want to do. Sex and sexuality are things you’re supposed to enjoy and feel comfortable with.

<3, Ivy

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