I have decided that I need both a soft, reeealy switchy girlfriend and a really collected, confident, sadistic boyfriend that knows exactly how to get under my skin. Yeah. That would be good.
my posts
I’m dead this is the conversation I had with my friend last night and I about killed myself laughing then and it’s still funny now
Hello again, friends! I’m craving more things to play with, but as usual, I’m very broke 😠I’m taking 16 credit hours this semester and I’m working as much as I can but money is gonna be tight.
If anyone is willing to buy me more things off my wishlist, it would mean the world to me! And as long as you tell me who you are, I’ll send pics and/or tell you about my experience playing with them, out of gratitude, of course :3 if you remain anonymous I’ll still post pics (but not nudes) and a thank you note on my blog 💙
So, I have a simple game for all you who are into tease and denial and leaving leaving things up to chance.
Next time you’re on the fence about whether or not to have an orgasm, or if you just feel like playing this game by yourself or with your sub every day for a week or a month or however long, flip a coin.
If it lands on heads, sorry (or not sorry), you’re on no touch for the day. If it lands on tails, you get to play as much as you want! But if you do get tails, you have to flip again. Another tails, you get to come that day. If it lands on heads, you don’t. Pretty simple, and incredibly frustrating.
Have fun :3
@spinal-knobs posted their results to this, and I thought it was very interesting. So here we are, my results from bdsmtest.org. Seems pretty accurate to me.
I haven’t been properly tortured in months. Which is like, torture denial, which is a whole other level of torture but it’s not intentional and it sucks a lot more and makes me feel bad. But thinking of it in that light helps a little? Ugh I have needs. Been a masochist since I was a little kid, that’s not just going away and lately I haven’t had an outlet after getting used to having not only a outlet, by having a person around that was perfectly suited to my flavor of masochism. Gah.
I just listened to Cal’s Curse for the first time and tbh I’m a little bit freaked by how far I sunk and how immensely aroused and genuinely scared I felt while I was listening to it, and that I actually woke up really quickly on 5.  Now that I’m awake I’m pretty sure it’s not going to work in the long run but I guess we’ll see O.o
2 days in a row of wholly unsatisfying orgasms : I get a sad feeling I’m entering another dry spell
Honestly just really feeling my body tonight
Personal post about the dry spell I’m going through below the cut ~
So, I have loooong dry spells, which I define as long periods of time without being physically turned on by anything. And tbh, I fee like the longer the dry spell the more disgruntled and dissatisfied and bored I get. And it’s an issue with me, not with the people around me or the images I’m viewing or anything.
I’m asexual, in the sense that I don’t feel sexual attraction towards other people and am fully repulsed and a bit terrified by the idea of having sex. But I do still experience situational sexual arousal, and have zero qualms with masturbating. When I do feel turned on, it is so intense, especially when it’s in a D/s kind of setting, and I love it. It’s a feeling that’s unmatched by most things. Sometimes, I will go for a while where I get turned on really frequently. Everything seems like an innuendo to me and I’m okay with that. I’ve had periods where I’m inexplicably horny constantly for days at a time, and it’s phenomenal, even if incredibly distracting.
The problem is, I either become desensitized to it after a certain amount of time, or I lose whatever it is that makes me able to get turned on, or I overthink it, or I get scared that people will think I want to have sex with them… I don’t know the reason, just that it just doesn’t happen anymore. When I try to look at porn that would otherwise have me hot and bothered, it does nothing for me. When I masturbate, it is exceedingly disappointing and far too long of a process for it to be worth it. And I want it to be different… But it just isn’t.
I may be asexual, but that doesn’t mean I don’t get frustrated when I have a dry spell. This time last year I was participating in Denial December, but it didn’t even cross my mind to try, because I haven’t even had in interest in orgasms anyways.
I doubt anyone does, but if you have any experience in this area, tips would be greatly appreciated. Otherwise, thanks for listening. I’ll try to get back on my porn game soon.