I loved him and would defend him to my last breath. But I also think he abused me, to an extent. Abuse isn’t as black and white as I thought when I was younger. It can be subtle, and come from someone you trust implicitly. Someone to whom you literally owe who you are, and in a lot of very good ways. That doesn’t mean that it was all healthy, though.
just thinking
More than anything right now I just want someone I can be comfortable around and close to and that will give me attention, and for once in my life not pull away from that person. There’s only one human being I’ve ever felt that way with and he’s just not an option at the moment. 🙁 I want to cuddle and maybe kiss and play around a little, and feel protected and safe and not so alone.