Consensual nonconsent has been messing with my head a bit. I think. I don’t know! We have been only in that role play for idk how long, a month? Six months? Longer? No means yes and begging “please please no” means please please yes… when I rationalize why we can’t, that’s become music to his ears. When I scream at him to leave me alone, he smacks me. When I whine and tell him I’m exhausted, he covers my mouth with his hand until I’m fighting for air. When I try and reverse it and ask politely for sex he laughs in my face… it’s gotten to the point that I adore finding new ways to convince him that I don’t want him just so he can pin me down and tell me that it’s not up to me. That I’m just a dumb little girl and I don’t know what I want.
Before I get any more anons about how my marriage is unhealthy and I need a safeword – I have a safeword. I use it. We do check ins regularly. He reads me like a book, and knows exactly when I want to play and don’t want to play without me having to say a damn thing most of the time. I’m a grown ass woman and he is a grown ass man and we are in a grown ass marriage. Here’s an idea for you: CONSENSUAL nonconsent was my idea and continues to be my idea every single time we do it! He wouldn’t be anywhere near me unless it’s exactly what I wanted.
I also want to take this moment to remind everyone I use my block button frequently!
