femsubdenial:

lovingdenial:

femsubdenial:

Hi there! 🙂

I’ve seen that, usually in women who’ve had sexual abuse in their past. I’ve also seen the other way around, where a heterosexual woman labeled herself “bisexual above the waist” because she liked kissing, and boobs, but just wasn’t into vaginas. For that matter, I know a married lesbian who thinks men’s bodies are sexier than women’s bodies. Sexuality is realy strange, sometimes.

I have no idea what you’re going through so I don’t have much advice other than to say that until you know more about yourself or are fairly satisfied that there aren’t any more answers, being confused is a healthy response. It’s much better, in my opinion, than having no questions about it.

Since you’re asking me, I’ll assume you have an interest in BDSM, too, so I also want to tell you that in the BDSM communinty there are some people who want sex with their kink, and others who just want their kink and sex is very exclusive. Also, sex is very rare at your average BDSM play party. (.. at least near me. That said, some parties are better than others.) This is one reason why one friend of mine doesn’t like to play at parties; she wants sex if she’s going to play, and doesn’t want to fuck in front of people. For groups of people into spanking, I’ve heard that in some groups you’re not even allowed to take off your underwear unless you’re behind closed doors. It’s that way at the parties of the spanking group near me.

Please come back in a few days and see if anyone has reblogged with comments. Perhaps someone else will reblog with their own thoughts.

I was confused for years. I thought I was bisexual. I can fall in love with a guy or a woman. I am even more physically attracted to men. But I never couldn’t stand the idea of having “normal” sex with them. I thought it would change with age. It hasn’t. There’s no abuse behind that, it’s just how I am. I declared myself a lesbian; there I’m comfortable with all aspects of a relationship.

Later, thanks to the internet, I realised I am and always was interested in kinky side of men! I definitely like having male friends, sometimes I need a hug from a guy. Then I skip the whole romantic and vanilla part. And then I find myself wanting to dominate a man, or, if I really trust him, being submissive to him. Again thanks to the internet I found out there are men whom I’m compatible with, and got to know some guys, and spent good times with them.

In my opinion any feeling is OK. There are so many variations. Sometimes even labels don’t fit. Am I biromantic, when I’m able to fall in love also with a man but I’m not interested in dating? Am I bisexual, when I’m attracted to men, too, but I want only “weird” sex with them? Who cares 🙂

There were a couple of responses to this ask, all awesome, but this one is my favorite because of that last paragraph! Labels should be used as shorthand, not constraints.

I don’t know why I didn’t see this post before, but thank god for it. I didn’t realize there were many people out there that felt this same way, and this makes me feel a little less weird and alone… Although just to add to this, I also consider myself demisexual, and that expands out to who I feel comfortable getting kinky with…

I’m attracted to both guys and girls, and sometimes I lean way more towards girls, and occasionally it’s guys I really get the hots for, but I’ve only even been really into one person, to the point of being willing to be totally submissive with him. Other than that, I’ve just never been truly attracted to someone or had a desire to do anything sexual with a person.

People don’t understand it and it’s very frustrating. I even have a hard time understanding it, because I feel it would be a lot easier if my sexuality would just be “normal”. But then I remember that there really isn’t a good standard for “normal” anyways, and it might make finding someone to be with a little more difficult, but I’m still great and honestly I don’t *need* to be with someone to be happy.