I had a date with a guy last night that went really, really well. He took me to a nice bar, we had a couple of drinks, and we made great conversation. We left on good terms, with plans to get dinner on Thursday.

Then, I woke up this morning with a text from him saying that he was surprised I didn’t come across as more submissive and that he “didn’t see being able to play with me” if I wasn’t. Hoping I’d misunderstood the tone over text, I replied that I don’t usually play those cards on a first date. He tried to backpedal but, lol, it was clear that he was trying to make me somehow prove myself. 

I think one of the most valuable things that I wish I could go back and tell my younger self is that you shouldn’t waste time on people who make hanging out feel like it’s an audition for something. No person is that worthwhile to necessitate those sort of stakes. Feeling each other out for compatibility is one thing, but having someone make you attempt to prove that you’re worth their energy is an absurd form of negging. So that’s the end of that.

Or, you know, maybe I should take a page from Mariah Carey: