Hi, can somebody do this to me please?
Month: July 2015
signs drunk at a party
Standardaries: gets the party going. challenges everyone to vodka and whisky shots. pisses off scorpio for being too loud.
taurus: goes around hugging everyone and complimenting people’s hair.
gemini: pees with the door open whilst talking to virgo, who is desperately waiting for the toilet.
cancer: goes around handing out water, making self-depreciating jokes. has a heart to heart with taurus.
leo: starts a concert in the main room. plays guitar and sings 2011 one direction songs.
virgo: walks half a mile to the nearest mcdonalds to get everyone a happy meal.
libra: makes out with literally everyone. throws up on aries after 8th shot.
scorpio: sits on the sofa grasping can of beer in their hands. silently strategizing a way to talk to cancer.
sagittarius: spills cider whilst preaching to an audience about the dangers of capitalism. blames it on gemini.
capricorn: calls taxis for everyone. goes upstairs for two hours to watch discovery channel with pisces.
aquarius: also on the sofa. legs up with a joint in their hand. smirking at scorpio’s tense position.
pisces: gives capricorn relationship advice whilst lying in bed drinking rum. both start singing im gonna be (500 miles) by the proclaimers.
That is true that is me
MAKES OUT WITH LITERALLY EVERYONE!!!!!
Haha. Sir and I are a Pisces and a Capricorn and yes I am a cheeseball.
“You were once wild here. Don’t let them tame you.” – Isadora Duncan.
I think you might go berserk if you weren’t allowed to eat the pizza.
StandardOh too true.
Goals and aspirations.
Whipping Post, Part Seven
While I was coming down, I realized that the girl with the cute butt getting tied up and spanked was the friend I came with. Yeah, the friend who almost didn’t come and said she was just going to watch. I was insanely proud.
When she was finished, we went and sat down on the couches to talk about it. And though I was trying to be attentive and supportive, I couldn’t help but keep glancing over to watch Pup and Saltine. Particularly, Saltine.
Like I’ve said, I’d never been interested in Saltine before. Saltine was, in my opinion, too young – yes, nineteen is too young for me – and I found them a little naive and, yeah, kind of obnoxious. But I don’t know. They were gorgeous. They had a cute, fit body. And the qualities about them that previously annoyed me or made me jealous were suddenly becoming really attractive.
So, naturally, I was totally kicking myself.
@rileyshy @jamesdeen
This is absolutely one of my favorite James Deen videos. He’s so condescending in it.
Last night, I sassed Pup so he called me little lady and made me stand in a corner.
Heh.
Did you already run through how you met Pup? I feel like you did and I’m so messy that I just missed it 😖
StandardOh, yeah. His girlfriend at the time basically fixed us up (thanks, nonmonogamy) and I went on the date thinking he was somebody else because I am a derp.
Here’s the post.
Whipping Post, Part Six
Pup had me clean off the whipping post after we were done with a sanitary wipe and then had me walk out the used condom in front of everyone over to the garbage can at the other end of the party. I was blushing like crazy, Pup motioning me to come back over. He put my aftercare blanket around me and sat with me for a little while as I came down.
It turns out that we’d been at it longer than we thought, and Saltine seemed a little miffed. So, I sent him off to go be with them, feeling kind of bad that we’d lost track of time.
The girls who’d been across from us came over and asked if they could sit with me. Together, we were watching a guy tie up a girl with a cute butt. “You were really lovely on that post,” one of the girls said. I was a little subspaced, and my head was cloudy from all the impact play. The girl asked if she could play with my hair and I agreed, feeling small and fussed over and pliant.
Pup came back over to let me know he was going to play with Saltine and to ask if I was all right with that. He touched my cheek and I felt even smaller. I don’t really know how to explain it, besides that when I get into a certain space from pain, my brain just goes quiet.