me: I think it’s time for us to have kids!
my spouse: i dunno, are we ready?
me: hell yeah you’d better be ready *opens back door to reveal an enclosure full of baby goats*
Chats
me: starts crying
someone else: what’s wrong
me: this is just something that happens
others: hav awful kinks, shamable kinks, which they are ashamed of everyday
me: has only the purest and noblest kinks, plucked ripe from the kink tree
me: *has tons of things to do, is stressed out about getting them done, wants to be productive*
brain: lay in bed
me: why
brain: u gotta
he: *cums before he means to (even though he’s already gotten me there several times because #me)*
he: I’m sorryyyy.
me: Oh, I don’t care. It’s hot when you can’t control yourself.
me: I like it when you’re overcome.
he:
me: Ba-dum cha.
he, hands raised in disgust: I’m marrying this woman.
someone: hey! i haven’t heard from you in a while 🙂 what’s up? what’ve you been doing lately?
me, a dissociative nerd baby: *stares at hands* … what HAVE i been doing lately…..
person: you come across really chill
me: yeah i suppose i am
my constant, unending, internal monologue: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Me in the morning: today is the day I finally get my life together
Me at night time: okay but tomorrow is the day I finally get my life together
Me: *repeats poisonous cycle*
other people: after work I’m going out with friends and this weekend I’m going hiking with ten people and then going to a concert and just like chilling with my buddies
me: after work I plan on melting. melting into my bed. becoming bed in the short time I have before I must re-engage in human contact. weekends are extended melts. being a person for more than 40 hours a week is beyond my capabilities. melting is my capabilities.
(seeing all types and shapes of bodies on internet): beautiful
(seeing my own body in the mirror): nah