anime woman: *has a baby*
anime doctor: *checks the baby’s hairstyle* i’m sorry ma’am……he’s a main character
anime woman: *sob* no…..i’m too young to die……..
anime doctor: i’m sorry….you know the rules…… *takes out a gun*
Chats
me: [skateboards up to you]
me: hi. i can’t actually skateboard in real life, but on an internet post, the only limitation is my imagination
me: [keeps skateboarding away, my body starting to transform into a hot pink fighter jet]
how much it costs a trans person to physically transition: $7000-$50000+
how much it costs you to respect a trans person regardless if they have physically transitioned or not: $0
random young woman: draco, come here
small child: yes, mom
me: it has begun
Person: how are you?
My overly self-aware ass: I know I’m being irrational but,
sitting on furniture that’s meant to be sat on: alright
sitting on grass: good
sitting on the floor: Very Good
sitting on a table: !! Good!! so good
sitting on a countertop: G R E A T
someone: what are your plans for the weekend
me: who knows
me: (i know)
me: (i’m not leaving the house)
someone: what’s wrong?
me, torn between the need to overshare and the fear of people Knowing about me: um
she: Oh, so you’re not a masochist anymore?
me, depressed: No, I’m a garbage can.
me, still depressed: Half-filled with detritus.
she: Wow, that’s hot.
An educated person: “it’s unhealthy to eat past 9 pm.”
Me, eating Lucky Charms at 3 am: “Oh man, good thing time is an illusion”