Me: I’ve really gotta quit… But what will I do with 5 months of down time until my next gig starts?
Bird: you could be a pro-domme!
Me: Then I’d have to look nice all the time. I hate that. Can’t I be like a sweatpants domme? Can I make that a thing?
Bird: THAT DEFEATS THE WHOLE PURPOSE! (Insert long rant that I stopped listening to.)
Me: … So yes? You’re going to love what I wear on our next date.
bae: come over
me: do you have food
bae: my parents aren’t home
me: are they coming back with food
him: I like being in that role.
me: What role is that?
him: *mumbling* fucktoy
me: And what role did I play?
him: Boss.
White people: you just want all characters to be POC don’t you??
me: …
me: …
me: …
me: yes
Me when I was 12: Wow, I think my crush is really cute I hope they like me back.
Me when I was 20: Yes my crush is cute, but do they share the same political views as me?
Me now: Yeah my crush is cute, but does he eat ass? And will he spit on me when the moment is right?
Me: Is it easier for you to objectify me when I’m not there?
He: (grabbing my ass in a fist) I find it quite easy to objectify you when you’re here.
sext: I’m naked and have a large pizza.
A. Have you ever had sex in three or more positions in one session?
B. Have you ever had sex continuously for more than an hour?
C. Have you ever devoted an entire day to sex and sexual activity (with breaks for eating, etc)?
D. Have you ever been so loud having sex that housemates/neighbors commented or complained?
E. Have you ever had your sexual technique/style/skill openly praised by someone?
F. Have you ever written an explicitly erotic story?
G. Have you ever brought your partner to orgasm using only your hands?
H. Have you ever licked or sucked on someone else’s feet and/or toes?
I. Have you ever had sex with someone you’re not in a relationship with?
J. Have you ever had sex simultaneously with two or more people?
K. Have you ever had anal sex?
L. Have you ever gone out in public while wearing an anal plug?
M. Have you ever gotten really turned on by saying or hearing dirty talk?
N. Have you ever realized that you are much more sexually open-minded/kinky than most of your previous partners and/or friends?
O. Have you ever been part of an S/M roleplay (master/mistress/slave), domination (as the dominant/submissive part), or being victim of pain (such as whipping, caning, hot wax on genitals, nippleclamps/genital clamps etc.)?
P. Have you ever fantasized about or practiced orgasm control/denial?
Q. Have you ever tried scissoring?
R. Have you ever performed or received oral sex from a man?
S. Have you ever performed or received oral sex from a woman?
T. How old were you the first time you had sex?
U. How many sexual partners have you had?
V. Have you ever practiced BDSM on yourself (bondage, nipple clamps, hot wax, et cetera)?
W. Have you ever had sex in front of other people?
X. Have you ever had a crush on a fellow blogger?
Y. Have you ever had an orgasm without any direct stimulation (not counting dreams)?
Z. Do you like being called dirty names during sex?
Ask, fan mail or reblog if you want to ask one.
Him: Now would be a good time to spoon.
Me: Yeah!
Then we both rolled over at exactly the same moment, going from face-to-face to back-to-back in a matter of seconds. We both thought we were the ‘little spoon’!
Then the wrestling started…
“things we hated as children: being spanked and naps
things we love as adults: being spanked and naps”
I swear I have heard my Babygirl say just this thing before.