me: i better fake a warm and engaging personality bc i don’t want to be actively disliked for being cold
other ppl: *become attached to me as a friend* me: i fucked upChats
Pretty City Asks
Chat
London: How do you take your tea?
Paris: Describe your favorite kiss. Dublin: Do you believe in Soul mates? Oslo: What keeps you warm? Amsterdam: What is your ideal night out? Los Angeles: What would you change about yourself? Milan: How do you think others describe you? Prague: What is your favorite season? New York City: What gets you up in the morning? Hong Kong: What is your earliest childhood memory? Jerusalem: What is your favorite thing about your family? Las Vegas: Have you ever broken a heart? Madrid: Describe your aesthetic. Chicago: What do you ache for? Toronto: Describe your ideal partner. Sorrento: What is your weakness? Cairo: Whats your favorite quote? Budapest: What tattoo do you want? Mumbai: What is your favorite scent Stockholm: What scares you?Princess: *comes out of the shower to see Papa standing there*
Papa: Well hi, baby girl! Why don’t you come here?
Princess: *smiles and scurries to Papa*
Papa: *puts collar on princess* There. How does that feel?
Princess: Good! Are we going to play?
Papa: Yes we are! *leads princess to bed*
Princess: What kind of game?
Papa: A counting game!
Princess: What kind of counting game?! *lays down*
Papa: We’re going to count and see how many times Papa can make you cum. However many times you cum, I’ll buy you that many pieces of candy!
Princess: *excited squeal turns into moans as Papa buries his head between her legs*
Sir: I’m coming home now and I’ll marinade the meat. How hungry are you?
Me: Not that hungry.
Sir: Want to fuck?
Me: Haha sure let’s fuck.
Sir: While it sits in marinade for like 30 min.
Me: Lol I hope you mean the pork and not your dick.
Sir: Pork: what I want to eat and what I want to do.
Me: Oh God.
FYI he says this to me weekly
ChatMe: Are we stopping back home first?
Sir: No. Do we need to?
Me: Just remembered I forgot my birth control.
Sir: You’re killing me, Smalls.
planet asks
Chatearth: do you think the world has been kind to you?
jupiter: what would you do for the sake of your friends?
mars: when do you feel most alive?
mercury: how differently do you act when you’re around friends instead of strangers?
neptune: how much do mood swings outwardly and inwardly affect you?
saturn: what would be your dream wedding ring?
uranus: what position do you sleep in?
venus: do you hold onto things longer than you should?
How I see 18 year olds: 18.
How I see 17 year olds: 17.
How I see 16 year olds: 16.
How I see 15 year olds: 12.
How I see 14 year olds: 9.
How I see 13 year olds: 5.
How I see 12 year olds: Fetus.
when i take a selfie
Chatbitter, uninteresting person: what are you doing
me: gods work
getting in the mood
Chathe: *grinds on me all sexified*
me: If we do this, you won’t have time for breakfast.
me: You’ll be hungry at paintball.
he: But at least I won’t be thirsty.
Me:*goes to reblog something really nasty*
Me: Chill out.