radical softness as a weapon, Lora Mathis (2015) radical softness is the idea that sharing your emotions is a political move & a tactic against a society which prioritizes a lack of emotions. strength does not have to mean turning off how you feel and being guarded. it can be sharing yourself openly. it can be putting energy into healing. it can be documenting your vulnerability in-order to make others feel less alone. it can be refusing to be sorry for how you feel. radical softness combats the toxic masculinity which permeates our culture and embraces softness and emotionality-however they may look.Ā
Believes love should happen at first sight; likes independent, go-getters; enjoys chasing and being chased
Arguing and friendly competition is an aphrodisiac
Attracts love by inspiring/encouraging suitors to pursue and āwinā her/him
Flirts by teasing and picking fights;Ā
Wants to be #1 in the relationship (and in her/his partnerās life) or will lose interest quickly
Taurus
Believes love should come after a lot of long-term consideration; likes (and is impressed by) wealthy people
Rich, comfort foods, receiving massages, listening to music, and fragrances that smell like something edible (mmm vanilla!) are aphrodisiacs
Attracts love by being emotionally stable and having consistent habits
Flirts by providing physical comfort
Wants to feel secure in relationships and āknow where this is goingā
Gemini
Believes love should mean never having to say, āIām boredā; likes quotable, multifaceted people who have lots of diverse interests
Verbal/written expressions of love are aphrodisiacs
Attracts love by being infinitely entertaining
Flirts by sharing thoughts & feelings and assigning pet names
Wants 24/7 communication accessibility in relationships; variety, unpredictability
Cancer
Believes love should be nurturing; likes people who need mothering (or who are mothering) and are appreciative of her efforts
Emotional bonding and cuddling are aphrodisiacs
Attracts love by making people feel cozy and sheltered;Ā
Flirts by feeding and/or cooking for someone, remembering preferences, giving thoughtful tokens of affection
Wants interdependence in relationships
Leo
Believes love should ALWAYS consist of romance, drama, fun, and loyalty; likes people who stand out in socially acceptable waysĀ
Receiving awe-inspiring gifts and positive, focused attention from an audience are aphrodisiacs
Attracts love by playing up strengths and downplaying weaknesses, and inspiring chivalry
Flirts by complimenting
Wants emotionally-moving displays of appreciation and gratitude in relationships
Virgo
Believes love should involve making a commitment to take care of someone else; likes hard-workers who pay attention to details (conversely, is also attracted to flawed, disorganized partners that need fixing)
good hygiene, a neat appearance, and an orderly environment are aphrodisiacsĀ
Attracts love by handling all of the ādirty workā in a partnerās life
Flirts by making analytical observations, self-deprecating humor, or offering self-improvement advice
Wants to feel needed and useful in relationships
Libra
Believes love should = 50/50 partnership + 24/7 romance; likes attractive, intelligent, and sociable people
Discussing new, inventive ways to have sex is an aphrodisiac
Attracts love by being friendly to everyone
Flirts by sharing unusual ideas and opinions
Wants a best friend, intellectually stimulating company and emotional detachment in relationships
Pisces
Believes love should be a perfect blend of an intuitive, spiritual bond and romance; likes nonjudgmental, creative people who think and communicate in imaginative ways
Dreamy kisses that cause tingles, foot massages, bubble baths, and mind-altering substances or practices are aphrodisiacs
Attracts love by being infinitely compassionate and seeing the best in people
Flirts by developing and acknowledging a special connection
Wants empathy, kindness, and sensitivity in relationships