I went to a big kink event for the holiday weekend – an event that I lovingly consider my kink anniversary. I haven’t had a chance to write (or, honestly, think) very much about it, but the whole weekend very different for me this year. Circumstances and situations are different. I’ve changed a bit.

I did a few really wonderful scenes. After the weekend, though, I realized that almost every time I bottomed was a growth experience for me. There’s nothing wrong with the stretch, but I didn’t get to experience much of the soothing, mindless catharsis that gives me a restart. There’s sometimes a point where all the tertiary voices quiet down, and you float in the present sensation with absolutely no thought.

I did not get much of that. And I think I need it.